hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
