I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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