bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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