he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
there is puke in my bra ... again
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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