Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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