im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
