i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
