Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize