They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
