The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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