Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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