well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
