If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
