Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
