dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
