yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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