i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
