Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize