areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
