apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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