BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
