Can i not drive my cunt home
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
