Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
