Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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