Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
