love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
