I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
