i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize