The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
