no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
