I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
