I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
