Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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