i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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