the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
