I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
