why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
