its not stalking. its research.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
