the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
