these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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