she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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