In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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