Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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