either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
