Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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