My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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