i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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