I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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