12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
