It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
