Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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