weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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