then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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