He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize