You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
