I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
