I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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