You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
