There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
