he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
