Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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