And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
