I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
