Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
