WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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