New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
