similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Why are your pants in the freezer?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
