my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
