I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
