1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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