I wish I could punch you in the face.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I need a beard to bite.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize