i permit you to call me
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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