Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
