Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just tell him i said nine months
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I will pee on everything he values.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Randomize
