Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
