sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
