You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
