Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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