She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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