chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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