It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize